Clara the Extrovert

A foundational point that Tracy Hogg makes in The Baby Whisperer is how important it is to see your baby for who he or she is, not who you think they are or who you want them to be.

I was reminded of this recently at our small group meeting. Clara is definitely an Angel or Textbook baby. She is predictable and easygoing. She is portable and loves meeting strangers. She is also a Spirited baby. She is very vocal and knows very clearly what she wants and doesn’t want. When she’s upset or excited and gets going, it takes time to calm herself down. She is also Extroverted, meaning she gets her energy from being around people.

Because of this variety in her personality, it has been confusing and difficult trying to convince her to sleep when we’re outside of the house. At home, she goes down like clockwork. After a quick cuddle (more for mom’s sake than baby’s), she goes down in her crib and easily puts herself to sleep.

But when we are visiting friends and family, it is often a disaster. We try to put her down to sleep when she becomes tired, but it ends up being a battle with all parties feeling miserable by the time it’s over. I couldn’t understand why she struggled and have often felt embarrassed at such struggles. Babies’ sleeping patterns are, for better or worse, a huge topic of conversation and it was embarrassing to tell people that Clara was a wonderful sleeper only to have it proven wrong during every visit where she required a nap.

At small group, I finally decided that I would take whatever time Clara needed to settle. I told the group to start without me and after setting up Clara’s sleeping arrangements, I held her and gently rocked while praying for immeasurable patience. And it was while I was holding Clara that I had the above realizations.

Clara could hear everyone moving around upstairs and wanted to be part of the action. She was exhausted, but she wanted to explore the new place. She was wound up from seeing and interacting with people she knows and likes. She needed my help to transition to sleep. God gave me patience beyond measure and we rocked. She would settle her head on my chest and then suddenly push herself away, energy warring with her desire for sleep. We rocked for 20 minutes, and then finally, as my baby does, she put her head on my chest and it stayed there. Her body relaxed, her breathing slowed, and when I put her in her bed, she didn’t protest. I wished her a goodnight, crept up the basement stairs, and Clara put herself to sleep like she does at home.